Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I feel like crap, but I am here...

Yes, you two loyal readers out there in cyberland, I am back from two days of semi-Comtrex induced coma. I still feel like crap, but at least there is no fever to accompany this feeling. The good news of the weekend is this, did you see the a#$ whipping that the Tigers laid on the 'Canes! Wow! I've seen less ferocious beatings than that in the early Mike Tyson days (before the Buster Douglas fight). 40-3..what defense there Miami! Oh, and a memo to Mr. Russell, be ready to fight for your job next year buddy, cause Mr. Flynn showed he is here to play. That kid kicked some butt! GEAUX TIGERS!!

I am also rooting for Texas to beat USC tonight. I am hoping for a real whipping in this one as well, because I am sick of hearing USC say that this is a three peat. Wrong, you won in 2004. That's it. I guess math is not a popular or required subject over there in the land of fruits and nuts!!

Kudos to the wife who ran the herd off early Sunday am, because they were trashing the house, half the munchkinn's were sick, and they are freaking loud! The wife could not stand it and accidentally started waking everyone up around 7:30, knowing that they wanted to get home. I am selling my spare bed today in an effort to pass on to them that the entire group is no longer welcome, only in smaller packs will they be allowed to overnight at the house.

Haven't passed on to Butter Troll (aka Lazy Susan) that I am taking off next Friday to spend time with Junior and the wife. She should just love that. I don't care. Get used to the idea of me being off a lot more. I earn it, and I deserve it. AJ out.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Can you believe it?

Tell me, can you believe that ole' AJ is posting two days in a row? It must be the end of the year or something, or wait, it is..hmm, that was not at all funny. Truth is, I am not sure what to post about today, so this will probably wind up as mindless rambling. I actually got a full night's sleep for the first time in about a week, so I feel much better- the herd is coming so that crushes my spirit. Oh, the Cankle countdown is on, her arrival is expected shortly. Run, run for your lives!!!

You know, and I am sure Irrelephant will strongly disagree with me, Cankle could probably be a likeable person. When you trim away all of the superficial selfishness, greediness, lying, and overall stupidity, there probably could be a decent person in there somewhere. BoBindy, on the other hand, aside from being a little over anxious, is great.

Lazy Susan, is not progressing any, however, her attitude is better. She's taking off early to have her eyes decompressed. Maybe that will cure her optical rectitis. You know, that's where the optic nerve passes too close to the rectum and therefore those people have a crappy outlook on life. No matter how much I help her, she is still ungrateful. Flip it. I give up. Maybe I can piss her off enough to leave.

Why am I always blogging about work? What about the other parts of life? Irrelephant can come up with some of the coolest things to talk about, and actually make sense. Maybe next week...until then, AJ out.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Chronic stupidity reigns supreme

Yes, loyal viewers, I am here again. Cankle and Bo-Bindy got into it yesterday evening for 45 minutes. No real winner, no real loser. How can you beat someone that is so self-absorbed, she can't even take a crap without it sucking air (cankle)? They both have huge quotas to met next quarter and can't even be in the same room together. Here's a mental note, though. Cankle, I caught you lying, I will call you on it, and I will be watching now closer than ever.

The herd is coming down this weekend. Apparently the mother cow is not happy to stay at her own RMB-condo-on-wheels (doublewide, that is), and so they ALL have to come and crash at the only family member that has a house on a concrete foundation! It's the mother cow's B-Day and so therefore she HAS to go SOMEWHERE and DO SOMETHING. Not me buddy, just give me a day to sit at home for my birthday. Keep the candles, keep the cake. Just a nice day at home. Not this bunch though, no sir. In a tribute to RMB, let me throw out a little bit of their thought process... I ain't got no savin's in that thar baink, but I got me a few dollers for tha Christmas gift an' I'm uh gonna spen' it somers. I might not be able to pay dem bills that er uh comin', but I'll go a shoppin' for a deal at the multiplicity (she found out what a dictionary is this is the word of the month...word of the day is too complex) of doller sto's down thar, cause they ain't but wun of 'em up herrre. Yes people they are driving two hours to raid dollar stores, not even a real freaking store.

LSU is in trouble Friday. Russell is out, Miami is pissed. Matt Flynn, it's been nice knowing ya'. Miami 21, LSU 9.

Irrelephant got the coolest looking freaking motorcycle helmet for Christmas, flames and all. VW got a cool digital camera. How about AJ? An electric razor. I know my wife is terrible at buying Christmas gifts, and I don't even let it bother me anymore.

The worst news of the day is that my wife is not pregnant. We sure had thought it had finally happened. But she just called and told me it was a week late false alarm. Crap. Crap. Crap. AJ out.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Lazy Susan

Why is it that no matter how far one goes to help another, the other simply takes it for granted that you will continue to do that? Lazy Susan, here is your warning, get happy or get the hell out. I don't need you. I can do your job and my job and never break a sweat. Think you've got it bad, how about dragging that fat ass back out into the field? Must be tough to sit in that chair (and yes, the chair has my utmost sympathies) and bitch at people 20 years your younger for your screw ups. Hmm, maybe the multiple marriage thing has some more meaning at this point, ya think? I know that we will be better for your leaving, if that is your choice, but if not, CHEER THE HELL UP!! You make a great salary and only have to take call once every three weeks, soon to be less. How much easier can your freaking work life be? And don't break my chair, I have a budget you know.

The family men want to go to another state for a bachelor party this weekend. I'm pretty freaking tired, and have no desire at all to go to a strip joint. No, I am not gay, just happily married and do not like to see women lower themselves to that point. It is not art, it is not a normal way of life. That is the scurge of our free society allowing that to go on in public. The whole point of me going to just to drive a bunch of slobbering drunks around anyway. Could I just stay home please? With the holidays coming we have to travel so much anyway, I don't think I'm going. maybe just a nice quiet round of golf with three people, me, myself, and I.

Memo the the nurse's wife that works at the therapy company: Hope there's enough visits left to pay your salary. Hope you don't get an intestinal blockage due to the anal pucker factor that I am sure you are experiencing due to the fact that you do not find it necessary to perform the requested HR functions.

More to come later, I am sure, as neither Cankle nor BoBindy have checked in at this point. Oh and President Bush, say whatever you want on your Christmas cards, after all, you are only the most powerful person in the free world. By the way, about this little Iran problem, how about a 30 Megaton Nuclear Warhead for a Christmas Gift, preferably from a submarine somewhere WAY out in the Persian Gulf? Yeah, that's my Christmas wish, and Thanks.

Top 10 Christmas Gift Requests:
1. One week vacation to Abu Ghrib prison (luxury tour please)..
2. Cankle's resignation..
3. Lazy Susan's resignation..
4. Regional Job Offer..
5. In-Laws to suddenly develop a 6 week case of infectious stupidity..oh, wait, got that before only it was permanent..
6. One week off of work with no interuptions
That's it, that's all I can come up with. Anyway, until later ignorance develops, AJ.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Why can't I be mad?

Why is it that everyone else can be pissed off, but I can't? It's like, oh my God, AJ is mad. Doesn't chronic stupidity and the predictability of certain employees tend to irritate you? Arrgh. So anyway fellow employees, here is the warning. I have to work all F*&^ing holiday weekend, so get ready. There's no relief for you in sight. Got it? If I want to be made, I will and you will deal with the wrath. I have kept this in for a long time, but the more stupid you are (Lazy Susan), the harder the wrath will upon you fall. Be warned.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Cankle strikes again!

BoBindy works her butt off, and Cankle gets the F^%@#^% credit. I can't believe it. Some overgrown ego 600 miles away gets to set unreachable numbers for BoBindy, and Cankle gets off easy. She wins a TV and a trip to Orlando (along with yours truly) and BoBindy gets....nothing. Crap. Cankle, you are the next one on the sh*t list. You had better pray that there is not a regional position in my near future, because I can assure you, yours will be short. I know you are not doing half of the crap that you say you do, and I am now out to prove it more that anything. Hey Loverboy, better think about a pre-nup... yep, you know the rest Blog fans, she ain't chasing you for the added comfort of three more chilun's! Somethan to think about.

Sure is quiet and not so happy since RMB left. Don't know how to make it through the day without a little "My dog left with my wife and my truck got hit by a meteor" good ole country some body screwed me wrong song...Ya know? And, for some crazy reason, I keep just uncontrollably wanting a big plate of peas and corn bread or to stand up and mope while singing "Rit tit title..."...guess I'll figure that one out later.

VW and Irr. seem to be much happier, and I am the paperwork king. We are processing at never before seen speeds, so I guess the question is, "Do we miss ya?" The answer is...NO, and Cankle, you are next. Just give me time and a video camera.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Catch up time..

So much has happened since the last post that there is no way that I could ever put it all in one posting. LSU 20, Auburn 17. Ugly, but still a Win. La Tech 40, North Texas 14. Ouch, oh, by the way North Texas welcome to Louisiana and have fun at LSU next week.

This will be my last posting as it seems that I may have impeded on VW and Irr.'s abilities to unload whatever they deem necessary. RMB is now successfully gone, and that is that. Take care to all and to all a good bye. AJ